Archive for the ‘jokes on the junta’ Category

Bainimarama speaks on debt – what a joke

April 29, 2013

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Giving a lecture on debt while taking us up the debt creek

What a sight. Bainimarama standing before the G77 group of countries and spouting views on the problems of debts owed by developing countries. He says he’s worried by “unsustainable debt overhang”. (Does he have a clue what this means?) All of us back in the far too real world of an economy with no growth and constantly rising prices know the truth. In the case of Fiji there was no real debt problem before Bainimarama seized power and starting reckless borrowing. The latest and worst example being a billion dollars worth of debt to buy ‘his’ airline the latest aircraft so that he can pretend he’s a big shot (and probably pocket some kick backs). This will be the end of our national airline if it cannot get enough customers quickly enough. The genius who thought of it (David Pflieger) realised the risk and fled the country back to the US.

Fijilive, April 26, 2013
PM calls for debt payment measures

Caught!!

April 26, 2013

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How much land do you want? Frank’s Land Bank Manager

Filimoni UluKau has long been one of the most reliable lackies of Bainimarama, being trusted first with the big lie about the amount of support the Charter for Treason had. Then he moved on to land, being entrusted with the Land Bank, including the grab of land for Chinese bauxite mining and the all the damage it’s doing to the environment. For all these services he was rewarded with the job of being Ambassador to South Korea. His turn to have his snout in the trough. But it seems he sees opportunities everywhere. He’s now been accused of stealing two dogs. His motives are not clear. Perhaps he planned to make a meal of them or may be to sell them. They were a Pekingese and a Shih Tzu, hardly much of a meal, but very expensive dogs, so it looks like he planned to make some easy cash. Unfortunately it was all caught on video. When the police paid a call he wasn’t at home and is claiming diplomatic privilege.

Real Fiji News 24 April 2013 Fijian Ambassador to South Korea granted immunity for stealing two dogs in Seoul?

Youth are growing restless

April 24, 2013

From the start Bainimarama has made clear that 18 year olds were always going to get the vote under his system. But it seems he’s too dumb to realise that anyone who was 18 when he seized power in the name of all his reforms will be 25 before they get the vote Bainimarama promised in 2007. Young people are growing old hearing about all this wonderful reform and race-free Fiji. One thing about youth is they are impatient. A year seems like a long time and 7 years without elections is half a lifetime. Youth activist Tura Lewai is speaking for young people when he says they reject this imposition of a constitution they’ve had no say in. All of the talk about how bad politicians were in the past means nothing to them. Someone who’s 18 in 2014 was 10 when the coup was staged. All they’ve ever know is the lies and empty promises made by Bainimarama and Khaiyum.

Radio New Zealand 23 April, 2013 Young people in Fiji increasingly agitated over constitution, says activist

A debate looks like a cassava patch to Frank

April 23, 2013

The United Front for a Democratic Fiji has challenged Bainimarama to a television debate. Given Bainimarama’s miserable record at expressing himself this would likely be a disaster for him. Without the opportunity to simply cut out voices he doesn’t want to hear he’d be left looking like the fool he is – and he knows it. It would be as unthinkable as taking a walk at night time through the streets of Suva without bodyguards. A debate is a standard part of any real democratic election but Bainimarama will have to turn to his advisers to find a good excuse for turning chicken.

Radio Australia 22 April 2013 Fiji government challenged to televised debate

The world watches and waits for credible elections

April 18, 2013

Cane farmers and the sugar industry have paid a heavy price for the military government. Bainimarama said he would do without $70 million in aid for our sugar industry rather than respect democracy and the rule of law. He also promised to make good this money to farmers. This is just another of Bainimarama’s lies but it reminds us that a failure to hold credible elections as promised will lead to loss of further aid from genuine international donors like the EU. If we do have genuine free and fair elections, EU aid will be restored. If not, we will remain out in the cold.

Fiji Times April 17, 2013 EU to discuss ban on Fiji aid

So pleased to not see you

April 18, 2013

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The Bainikhaiyum propaganda machine pumps out pictures of Bainimarama receiving phony apologies from people who want government services. Likewise sporting groups have to bend the knee to the dictator but why was the publicity machine unable to produce a photograph of a netballer player actually looking at Bainimarama when they shook hands? So pleased to not see you

The Police state

April 12, 2013

FPF officers are all now being indoctrinated on the constitution that hasn’t yet been finalised. What a joke! There’s hardly any time to wait, but they jumped the gun and have the FPF taking lessons on a draft document as if it’s final. What’s really funny is that FPF will be surprised to learn that their retirement age is written into the constitution. Protection for Native land ownership or Fijian customs are no longer in the constitution, but retirement age for police is!!! Let’s hear Bainimarama explain that.

Fiji Sun, April 11, 2013 Police talk on draft law and implications

One delay is the least of our worries

April 11, 2013

The delay of the A330 on one of its first flights is the least of our worries. The real risk is that we don’t get enough passengers. In 2000 when the Speight coup knocked our tourism industry out of the ring for months, many flights were cancelled. If this happens again, we will still be paying the huge interest bill for these planes. If they don’t fly with high passenger loads from the get-go, Air Pacific will be stuffed. The debts will mount and mount. The foreign banks that lent the money will look for the interest on the billion dollars owed to them. And non-payment means the interest bill rises.

Fiji Times April 10, 2013 New Airbus defect delays flight

NOT THE NEWS!

April 4, 2013

New aid programmes

The PM and Minister for Sugar said he was delighted to announce that his Government has been offered more scholarships by the Government of Cuba. He said it was his firm conviction that it was now time to tap Cuba’s expertise in sugar. He said he had managed to halve our sugar industry but it was refusing to die completely. He said he was confident that Cuban aid would help him to finish the job. “They’ve pioneered new lows in yields per hectare which we are confidant we can achieve with their help”. To those who say we’ll never lose our sugar industry PM Bainimarama has just one thing to say “you watch us – we’ll surprise you all”.

Meanwhile, Commissioner of Police, Brigadier General Ioane Naivalurua, announced receipt of $300,000 worth of equipment from the Chinese Ministry of Public Security. It includes, testicle electrodes, meat hooks, cattle prods, straps, chains, hoods and blindfolds. He said these would replace the primitive beating techniques which have been so embarrassing to all the security forces. “It is time to move forward”, he said,

The Vore Party starts looking for supporters

March 31, 2013

PM-IN-NAVUSO

Our newest politician has confirmed that he’ll wait until 2014 before launching his own party. It looks like he’s hoping that nine months of campaigning will help him find the 5000 party members he needs to sign-up to register his party. His first recruiting drive was held in the pig pen at Navuso, a very natural place for him to start.

Fiji Sun, 31 March 2013 Fiji PM party launch in 2014